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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23297572">so lonely inside, so busy out there</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudofreveries/pseuds/cloudofreveries'>cloudofreveries</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Disney - Fandom, Mulan (1998), Mulan - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, One Shot, Songfic, also i have not written fic in a long time, this kinda doesnt make any sense, yet here i am writing one about my first ship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:00:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>685</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23297572</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudofreveries/pseuds/cloudofreveries</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>mulan having a few inner thoughts about shang after the reveal; one-shot songfic, canon compliant, title taken from the track: all you wanted by michelle branch.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fa Mulan/Li Shang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>so lonely inside, so busy out there</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i haven’t written fic in a long time but i’ve been on a kick over this pairing again lately and something just dwelled me in so here we go. and i try my best i guess?? lol.</p><p>DISCLAIMER: i don’t own the characters, nor the song being referenced in this work or its lyrics. this is all for leisure use only.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> <em>I'm sinking slowly,</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em> So hurry hold me </em></strong>
</p><p>
  <strong><em>Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on</em> </strong>
</p><p>Hours have passed, she’s trying to get through the cold wind that’s breezing endlessly at the very top of the mountains where she’d been left at. She could still see the way his eyes set on hers, right before he was about to risk her life.</p><p>But he didn’t.</p><p>Mulan knew she’d be facing these consequences, after all the moment she decided within herself to take her father’s place in this battle was already breaking the rules. The journey definitely was not easy, yet somehow it helped her so much. Not just in any manner physically but in terms of dealing with other people too. It also opened her eyes to how these soldiers struggle to do their best in order to serve their country,defeat their enemies and most importantly to bring their family honor.</p><p>And that’s something she saw in Li Shang....sure he’s got a pretty face,a tough personality given that it was his job to make sure all the other comrades were doing their tasks properly but as time went by a little faster than it should, she’d realise that at one point he probably just needed a voice to tell him that they do care.</p><p><em>“For what it’s worth i think you make a great captain.”</em> Mulan recalls that somewhat awkward yet truthful exchange. She knew she could have said it in a better way but she meant everything well,even if it led to a quick moment of Mushu teasing her about having a crush. If only it was easy for her to have reached out to make him realise that someone working with him knows and sees that he matters, in which she could also tell that pressure was high on him—especially with his father being the General.</p><p>She’d understand it was definitely a difficult job, not only when you have the weight of the army’s fate in your hands but also in wanting to bring pride and honor to your family and their name. To meet someone who she could reasonate with in terms of being in a situation like this meant to her in a way she’s never really felt.</p><p>
  <strong> <em> I didn't know that it was so cold</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>And, you needed someone to show you the way</em> </strong>
</p><p>In the aftermath upon reaching their destination, seeing that Shang had lost his father, the more she wanted to try to at least give him comfort, knowing that what occurred to him would’ve been her worst nightmare had her own father gone to the army instead. She wanted him to know that she was there for him, and if he needed a shoulder to lean on even just for a little while, she’d could be the one.</p><p>Then things ended up happening, in a way that she knew it would come, but nevertheless it disheartened her. She had earned Shang’s trust and respect already, and that was very important knowing that someone in your working field had faith in you and would see how reliable you are. But all it took was one wound...and the truth was out.</p><p>Mulan was distraught, and even if she was aware that this would be an outcome of her desicion, it still managed to dig a hole into her heart that one of the people whom she’d come to admire and respect over time plus would eventually do the same had to punish her even though she understood that it was a part of the law.</p><p>Even though it’s a relief that her life wasn’t taken away, nevertheless it became an experience that gave her a lesson she’d take with her for eternity.</p><p>Before she shuts her eyes to put herself to sleep, she thinks.<em> If ever the time comes, i hope he’ll know.....that despite what happened, there was someone all the way through that tried and wanted to be a helping hand all along. </em></p><p>
  <em> <strong>Please can you tell me </strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>So I can finally see, Where you go when you're gone</strong> </em>
</p>
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